When Ann Murray Paige, a television journalist based in Maine, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 38, her sister-in-law suggested that the experience would make a great documentary. And so the filming of The Breast Cancer Diaries, airing this month on the documentary channel, began.
Well beyond the basic processes of cancer treatment, Ann shares intimate details of her emotional and physical landscape during her months long treatment of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, bringing her reporter's eye to the telling. In one scene soon after she has started chemotherapy, she reviews her day planner and points to the expected day that her hair will start falling out, as if she were planning a meeting. Although there is an air of efficiency and perhaps detachment, she also takes us into the real emotional reality when her hair does start responding to the drugs. We see her sitting in a barber chair at a hair removal specialist who pulls her hair out gently in clumps. Then she shares with us the moment she unveils her head to her husband, the two of them sitting on their bed.
Ann ruminates to the camera about her ambivalence regarding chemotherapy, and we see her husband sitting with their young son reading "Kemo Shark," a children's book which explains chemotherapy and hair loss to help allay children's fears about parents undergoing this ordeal. Throughout the film, she shares the general emotional state of her four year old son as well as their conversations, revealing his fears and insights. After her double mastectomy, she explains the removal of her breasts to her son who responds, "Well, you still have your belly button!" (Belly Button productions is the name of her company.) Later, we see her preparing for a date with her husband with her son as helper. He picks out a dress for her, and then suddenly remembers her prosthetic breasts. "Don't forget your breasts!" he says, and then he goes into the closet to get them for her.
On her first day of chemotherapy, as a dose of the sickly kool-aid red adriamycin is injected into her veins, Ann sits nestled (or backing up into as if she's trying to get away) in her husband's arms weeping, "I've always kept myself so healthy, I've always kept myself so healthy." As rational as one might be about the positive effects of chemotherapy treatment, there is a great fear attached to allowing substances that are also lethal enter one's body. And sorrow. The sorrow of chemotherapy. As the chemotherapy progresses, Ann's diaries get shorter. # 5, #6, #7--we see her briefly sitting her bed, and she just tells us how tired she is.
What strikes me most about the film is Ann's head-on, straight up attention to and sharing of the emotional experience -- both hers and her children's. Her attention to the enormity of the situation in an environment that begs minimalizing. Barely out of surgery, she is lying in the hospital bed just after having had both of her breasts removed. Every nurse, resident and doctor that comes in has told her she is going home today--less than 24 hours after her surgery. She can't believe they are rushing her out after this life-altering event, and wonders if she would have the same experience if she had just had her testicles removed. Equally striking is the love she and her husband share--she refers repeatedly to how much he loves her (and he is there, in the background, foreground, supporting her every step), and talks about his sudden interest in her butt. She recounts a conversation where she asks him if he's so interested in her butt now that she doesn't have breasts and he tells her that if her butt was removed too he would just find another part of her beautiful body to focus his attention on.
Ultimately the work is a useful model for those who support loved ones going through cancer treatment, particularly for families supporting young children through witnessing a loss of vitality (and hair) in a caregiver and working through the fears associated with a parent temporarily taking their full attention away. Ann, her husband and family are simply incredible and loving with each other and the children.
About Me
- K Douglas
- "Kathy connects with everyone and has the ability to be both involved in daily, practical matters as well as more long term strategic thinking." -- Bjorn Akselsen, design colleague
Career development professional strongly committed to supporting master's and PhD-level emerging leaders in a wide range of environment and business/environment related fields. Twelve years of progressively responsible experience in higher education, focused on career development and student services at Ivy League university.
Creative, big-picture thinker with proven follow-through and unique ability to engage and lead employers, colleagues, students and alumni to strategically improve student resources.
Empathic adviser dedicated to student success with breadth of knowledge of green, sustainability and environment-related careers.
Community leader as secretary of the board of the New Haven YMCA Youth Center--a unique youth-only Y that provides recreational and personal development programs to at-risk youth in New Haven.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Work of Poetry and Mastering the Inappropriate
A friend just sent me this clip of Liam Rector reciting Emily Dickinson's After Great Pain at a gathering in honor of Donald Hall a few years back. Voices from the dead. After commenting that he enjoyed the day's panels and that he's really a panel slut, Liam calls himself a "master of the inappropriate" and explains his penchant for uttering the inappropriate, "Because I think the world seems, to me, so vastly inappropriate that I'm so confused. Really I couldn't say an appropriate thing if my life depended on it."
He supposes that he's remembered as a teacher because of this. I would say he's remembered because he had an enormous intellect, was a generous teacher and was a fearless critic, too.
Liam took his own life last year, 2007. Here, I suppose, is the final mastery. Here is the "formal feeling," left in his wake--the "chill, then stupor, then the letting go."
He supposes that he's remembered as a teacher because of this. I would say he's remembered because he had an enormous intellect, was a generous teacher and was a fearless critic, too.
Liam took his own life last year, 2007. Here, I suppose, is the final mastery. Here is the "formal feeling," left in his wake--the "chill, then stupor, then the letting go."
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Excerpt: Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive
What one word can you start using today to increase your persuasiveness by more than fifty percent?
Which item of stationery can dramatically increase people's responses to your requests?
How can you win over your rivals by inconveniencing them?
Hone your influencing skills.
Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive
By Noah J. Goldstein, PhD and Steve J. Martin and Robert B. Cialdini, PhD
Publication Date: June 10, 2008
From the Introduction:
There's an old joke told by the nightclub comic Henny Youngman, who referred to his accommodations from the previous night by saying, "What a hotel! The towels were so big and fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase."
Over the last few years, the moral dilemma facing hotel guests has changed. These days, the question of whether to remove the towels from their room has been replaced by the question of whether to reuse the towels during the course of their stay. With the increasing adoption of environmental programs by hotels, more and more travelers are being asked to reuse their towels to help conserve environmental resources, save energy, and reduce the amount of detergent-related pollutants released into the environment. In most cases, this request comes in the form of cards placed in guests' bathrooms -- cards that provide some surprising insights into the remarkable science of persuasion.
A survey of the persuasive messages conveyed by dozens of request cards from a wide variety of hotels around the globe reveals that these cards most commonly attempt to encourage towel recycling efforts by focusing guests almost exclusively on the importance of environmental protection. In other words, guests are almost invariably informed that reusing their towels will conserve natural resources and help spare the environment from further depletion, disruption, and corruption. To further draw guests' attention to the impact of towel recycling on the environment, this information is often accompanied by various eye-catching, environment- related pictures in the background, ranging from rainbows to raindrops to rainforests...to reindeer.
This persuasion strategy generally seems to be an effective one. For example, one of the largest manufacturers of these signs, whose messages focus entirely on the importance of environmental protection, reports that the majority of hotel guests who have the opportunity to participate in these programs do reuse their towels at least once during their stay. But could the results be improved?
Which item of stationery can dramatically increase people's responses to your requests?
How can you win over your rivals by inconveniencing them?
Hone your influencing skills.
Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive
By Noah J. Goldstein, PhD and Steve J. Martin and Robert B. Cialdini, PhD
Publication Date: June 10, 2008
From the Introduction:
There's an old joke told by the nightclub comic Henny Youngman, who referred to his accommodations from the previous night by saying, "What a hotel! The towels were so big and fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase."
Over the last few years, the moral dilemma facing hotel guests has changed. These days, the question of whether to remove the towels from their room has been replaced by the question of whether to reuse the towels during the course of their stay. With the increasing adoption of environmental programs by hotels, more and more travelers are being asked to reuse their towels to help conserve environmental resources, save energy, and reduce the amount of detergent-related pollutants released into the environment. In most cases, this request comes in the form of cards placed in guests' bathrooms -- cards that provide some surprising insights into the remarkable science of persuasion.
A survey of the persuasive messages conveyed by dozens of request cards from a wide variety of hotels around the globe reveals that these cards most commonly attempt to encourage towel recycling efforts by focusing guests almost exclusively on the importance of environmental protection. In other words, guests are almost invariably informed that reusing their towels will conserve natural resources and help spare the environment from further depletion, disruption, and corruption. To further draw guests' attention to the impact of towel recycling on the environment, this information is often accompanied by various eye-catching, environment- related pictures in the background, ranging from rainbows to raindrops to rainforests...to reindeer.
This persuasion strategy generally seems to be an effective one. For example, one of the largest manufacturers of these signs, whose messages focus entirely on the importance of environmental protection, reports that the majority of hotel guests who have the opportunity to participate in these programs do reuse their towels at least once during their stay. But could the results be improved?
Liz Lerman Dance Exchange Works New Haven
Dancing. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. And Liz Lerman just did New Haven in a big way. (Video coming shortly to festival blogfest page)
At the grand finale of the 13th Annual International Festival of Arts and Ideas, the Liz Lerman Dance Exchange wrapped New Haven in a long white gown. Decorated her in strands of white prayer ties. Gathered up 13,000 prayers and flew them in the breeze. Made them into a dance.
Working with idea of democracy through dance, Lerman does these incredible community-based events with a cross-generational, multi-cultural troupe, asking four questions: Who gets to dance? Where is the dance happening? What is it about? Why does it matter? The productions are based on a multi-disciplinary definition of the artform that includes movement, imagery, spoken word and music.
The crowd has started gathering near the main stage, and Associate Artistic Director Elizabeth Johnson is warming us up by making us move. Hand out, arm up, sweep arms in a circle. Two new haven police on horses come through the crowd and make their way over to the Bennett Fountain (built in 1907), which has been marked off by a big circle of prayer ties strung together on the ground. She directs us to follow the horses, so everyone gets up and trots over to the fountain in the center of the green (originally known as "the marketplace," completed in 1638. The Puritans were said to have designed the green large enough to hold the number of people who they believed would be spared in the Second Coming of Christ: 100,000. Beginning on May Day, 1970, twelve thousand Black Panthers and their supporters arrived in New Haven individually and in organized groups. They were housed and fed by community organizations and Yale students in dormitories, and met en masse on the New Haven Green across the street from the Courthouse daily to hear protest speakers including Jean Genet, Benjamin Spock, Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and John Froines. See Wikipedia!)
Dancers, dressed in white, start pouring out of the 3 three historic churches across the street (Trinity, United Church on Green (UCC), Center Church on the Green). The first group are in wheelchairs, a half a dozen motorized wheelchairs start circling the fountain. Real people in real wheel chairs, beaming. Then the roller-derby dancers that had performed earlier during the festival join in. A few bicycles start circling (new haven was the place where the first bicycle was ridden). Then parents and kids who had taken the parent/child dance workshops start circling, people are running and rolling up and down the paths. We're invited to move to this triangle edged in prayer ties. Pick up your chair and move. A parent/child dances ensues. Then we all migrate to the main stage.
There are video interviews on large screens on either side of the stage, people talking about the green. "I never go there past dark." "I love to come on my lunch break." The green as a picnic spot and barrier between yale and the rest of the city. A 15 year old mexican boy talks about the police coming to his house in the middle of the night last year and taking his parents away during a sweep on illegal immigrants. A 75 year old woman talks about the gestapo coming to her house in the middle of the night taking her whole family away, how the news of the illegal immigrant sweep in new haven affected her (pass the wine, wait, did you hear that?). The troupe teaches the crowd a dance--a prayer dance and story of new haven--simple, symbolic moves, includes circling your arms and holding yourself--Bobby Seale, making your demands known with two firm fists, drawing the past forward with a sweep of the arm. Everyone is up and writing the name of the person they are sending a prayer out to in the air with their fingers. Repeat. Repeat. The troupe--old young men women various colors--enter the stage, all in long white dresses reminiscent of wedding gowns. The local dancers re-join them, and together they do the new haven prayer dance one more time.
Who gets to dance? People in wheelchairs. Roller-derby queens. Bicyclists. Police on horses. Skateboarders. Parents and kids. Everybody in the crowd.
Where is the dance happening? The New Haven Green. The place where the first bicycle was ridden. Home of the homeless. Place for picnickers. A cut through on the way to work. Site of Black Panther rallies and church services, burials and free concerts, the making of art. A barrier between Yale and the rest of New Haven. Or is it a bridge?
What is it about? Beauty. Community. Inclusivity. Prayer. History. Cultures. Democracy.
Why does it matter? Like many cities, New Haven is stratified, with worlds orbiting around each other. It is home to one of the finest libraries in the world as well as neighborhoods with 75% unemployment. It was chopped up and separated from itself with the building of the interstate and the Oak Street connector in the late 1950s, obliterating neighborhoods, and leaving a physical divide that generations of planners and citizens have tried to redress.
May Day celebration on New Haven Green, 2008.
Just found this blog, Design New Haven, "an open civic forum about Downtown New Haven, Connecticut. Our mission is to encourage community dialogue on topics including transportation, economic development, livable streets, history, downtown events, architecture/urban design, and the Route 34 Corridor."
At the grand finale of the 13th Annual International Festival of Arts and Ideas, the Liz Lerman Dance Exchange wrapped New Haven in a long white gown. Decorated her in strands of white prayer ties. Gathered up 13,000 prayers and flew them in the breeze. Made them into a dance.
Working with idea of democracy through dance, Lerman does these incredible community-based events with a cross-generational, multi-cultural troupe, asking four questions: Who gets to dance? Where is the dance happening? What is it about? Why does it matter? The productions are based on a multi-disciplinary definition of the artform that includes movement, imagery, spoken word and music.
The crowd has started gathering near the main stage, and Associate Artistic Director Elizabeth Johnson is warming us up by making us move. Hand out, arm up, sweep arms in a circle. Two new haven police on horses come through the crowd and make their way over to the Bennett Fountain (built in 1907), which has been marked off by a big circle of prayer ties strung together on the ground. She directs us to follow the horses, so everyone gets up and trots over to the fountain in the center of the green (originally known as "the marketplace," completed in 1638. The Puritans were said to have designed the green large enough to hold the number of people who they believed would be spared in the Second Coming of Christ: 100,000. Beginning on May Day, 1970, twelve thousand Black Panthers and their supporters arrived in New Haven individually and in organized groups. They were housed and fed by community organizations and Yale students in dormitories, and met en masse on the New Haven Green across the street from the Courthouse daily to hear protest speakers including Jean Genet, Benjamin Spock, Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and John Froines. See Wikipedia!)
Dancers, dressed in white, start pouring out of the 3 three historic churches across the street (Trinity, United Church on Green (UCC), Center Church on the Green). The first group are in wheelchairs, a half a dozen motorized wheelchairs start circling the fountain. Real people in real wheel chairs, beaming. Then the roller-derby dancers that had performed earlier during the festival join in. A few bicycles start circling (new haven was the place where the first bicycle was ridden). Then parents and kids who had taken the parent/child dance workshops start circling, people are running and rolling up and down the paths. We're invited to move to this triangle edged in prayer ties. Pick up your chair and move. A parent/child dances ensues. Then we all migrate to the main stage.
There are video interviews on large screens on either side of the stage, people talking about the green. "I never go there past dark." "I love to come on my lunch break." The green as a picnic spot and barrier between yale and the rest of the city. A 15 year old mexican boy talks about the police coming to his house in the middle of the night last year and taking his parents away during a sweep on illegal immigrants. A 75 year old woman talks about the gestapo coming to her house in the middle of the night taking her whole family away, how the news of the illegal immigrant sweep in new haven affected her (pass the wine, wait, did you hear that?). The troupe teaches the crowd a dance--a prayer dance and story of new haven--simple, symbolic moves, includes circling your arms and holding yourself--Bobby Seale, making your demands known with two firm fists, drawing the past forward with a sweep of the arm. Everyone is up and writing the name of the person they are sending a prayer out to in the air with their fingers. Repeat. Repeat. The troupe--old young men women various colors--enter the stage, all in long white dresses reminiscent of wedding gowns. The local dancers re-join them, and together they do the new haven prayer dance one more time.
Who gets to dance? People in wheelchairs. Roller-derby queens. Bicyclists. Police on horses. Skateboarders. Parents and kids. Everybody in the crowd.
Where is the dance happening? The New Haven Green. The place where the first bicycle was ridden. Home of the homeless. Place for picnickers. A cut through on the way to work. Site of Black Panther rallies and church services, burials and free concerts, the making of art. A barrier between Yale and the rest of New Haven. Or is it a bridge?
What is it about? Beauty. Community. Inclusivity. Prayer. History. Cultures. Democracy.
Why does it matter? Like many cities, New Haven is stratified, with worlds orbiting around each other. It is home to one of the finest libraries in the world as well as neighborhoods with 75% unemployment. It was chopped up and separated from itself with the building of the interstate and the Oak Street connector in the late 1950s, obliterating neighborhoods, and leaving a physical divide that generations of planners and citizens have tried to redress.
May Day celebration on New Haven Green, 2008.Just found this blog, Design New Haven, "an open civic forum about Downtown New Haven, Connecticut. Our mission is to encourage community dialogue on topics including transportation, economic development, livable streets, history, downtown events, architecture/urban design, and the Route 34 Corridor."
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